I can’t actually believe that I’m pregnant! It’s been a long road, let me recap the last few months.
So, when we moved to San Diego I made an appointment with a fertility specialist wanting to move forward with IVF. After going to the appointment I felt really rushed into the process. It’s half way my own fault because I agreed, but I just left not feeling it. The price would have been really hard to pull off. They wanted over $8000 for the IVF and then there were additional charges for other tests and storage of the embryos.
I decided to wait on that and found another doctor to see and try just doing injections again. The doctor didn’t see as interested in my history. My appointments with him were always very short. It was more like he was just monitoring me and not really my doctor. The cycle ended up not working as I had no follicles growing. Story of my life!
So then I started thinking about IVF again. I found a clinic that gave a military discount that we could actually pull off, barely. I like the doctor and he seems to know what he’s doing. I did respond well to start, but then I just had one egg that was taking off, all the others weren’t growing. He upped my dose to see if it would wake up the other follicles, but it didn’t. My one egg was still continuing to grow though. He gave me the option to either go on and try with this one egg, or to stop and go to IVF in December. I really wanted to give this one egg a chance. To me it’s always been ovulating that was my battle. It all seemed to fall in place like it should. I asked the doctor if he would be willing to do insemination and he agreed. We did two days in a row and I ended up getting a very faint positive 10 days later! I couldn’t believe it.
I’m so happy right now, but also scared. I’m so scared that I will miscarry. I know that my progesterone was low and so I got put on a medication to help with that. If they didn’t catch that I would have either not gotten pregnant or lost it. From what I’ve looked up I will probably be on it until I’m 10-14 weeks. Right now I’m 4weeks and 1 day. I’ve also read that once you can see the heartbeat that your chances of miscarriage go down to 5%. Then I will be able to breathe easy.
So Happy!
I am so tired for some reason! I stayed in bed until about 1:00 today. I wasn’t sleeping the whole time, but still! I could have stayed there even longer.
I’m totally obsessing about having a baby. Every night when I’m in bed that’s all I think about. This appointment needs to hurry up and get here. Maybe that’s why I’m so tired lol..
I just want to know if it will happen the first try, how many we’re going to have, thinking of all the scenarios. It’s driving me crazy! The plan is to try and keep myself calm about it, but it’s not really working. I sure do wish it would though. We’ll see what happens.
It’d be nice to actually have a life to take my mind off of things. I don’t know anyone here yet and I doubt it will happen any time soon. If I had a real job that I went to everyday it would happen. Not that I’m complaining, I have a great set up right now. It will be perfect for when we have kids. I can still earn an income and be able to stay at home with them until we’re in a place where I don’t have to work anymore. Ahh if that place would just come sooner. I hate worrying about money. It’s been kind of hard since we’ve been here because the finances have changed. I had them down pretty good in Denver, but here it’s so hard to plan because the rent is higher and we have to pay the mortgage with what the renters pay us. Oh so complicated. Let’s not mention how much our power bill was last month! I have never had a power bill that high even in the house in Denver. We got our a/c serviced so hopefully that solved the problem. I can’t afford another month of that!
I’m off to maybe do something productive, or maybe get back in bed lol.
So my cycle was canceled because I wasn’t having any follicles grow. I got a shot to make me start my period in about 10 days. Weird thing is I started spotting right after my ultrasound. I had felt a little cramping for the past couple days, but I was having stomach issues and I thought it could be follicles growing. I have no clue as to why I started spotting. I called the doctor and they said for me to call and come in sooner if it starts out being a full blown period. It hasn’t even been 2 weeks since my last period!
I started thinking that maybe IVF should be the way to go. My insurance has a cap on the amount of medicine I use and that stuff is so expensive without it. If we take however many tries and aren’t even getting a follicle I feel like we’re going to waste the meds. I started to look up other fertility clinics and sent out emails asking how much they charge and if they took my insurance. I’ve only got one response so far, but it seems to be pretty good. They don’t take my insurance BUT give military families a discount. For almost everything it’s $5500. The other place was $8100 and would have had a lot of other costs. I went ahead and made an appointment with them for next month and if I get a better quote I can switch. I have never seen a price that low for IVF though. I got so excited when I saw it!
So now what do I do about my current doctor? I’m waiting to hear back if they actually do IVF in their office and if so how much they charge. They do take my insurance, but my insurance doesn’t cover any of the IVF. I might just give them a call and tell them I decided to take a break. I feel bad saying I’m going to go to another doctor, but if they’re cheaper then that’s the way it goes. I just need to remember not to get ahead of myself because I do that often lol. I get so excited about something I start planning out too far and then it ends up not working out. I need to wait and see what my current doctor says about the IVF before I call and cancel.
I just need to remind myself to slow down and don’t get too anxious!
So I’m going to try to start blogging again. I felt like it helped me when I was doing it more regularly. Since I’m working from home now and I have no one to talk to other than David I’m going to need this more.
We’re doing the fertility treatments again. I first went to a doctor with the idea of IVF in my head. I was recently diagnosed with sjogren’s syndrome, which is a type of arthritis, and it made me think we need to speed this up. I don’t want to get worse with age and be in pain the whole time I’m pregnant. So when I went to the fertility doctor I was kind of rushed into everything. It was the perfect time in my cycle to start so they asked if I wanted to right then. I was back there for about an hour and given all the information and then talked to the financial lady. Of course this is where it goes downhill, lol. I knew it was expensive, but I thought my insurance would cover certain parts of it. My insurance is pretty good, but when it comes to fertility stuff that doesn’t involve actual sex to make the baby they don’t cover it, and apparently the work up during it. So it would be over $8,000 out of pocket at the very least, probably more.
I went home and talked to David and my mom and thought maybe I should give the other routes another shot just to see. So I made an appointment with another fertility doctor and we’ve started the injections again. I have a better feeling about it this time around, but I’m scared I’m getting my hopes up too high.
I kind of wish I could just go back to Denver and see my old doctor. I liked how she did things and everything seemed to run smoother and wasn’t so complicated. I like this doctor ok, but he doesn’t seem to follow me as closely. They’re more of an obgyn office and they have two doctors that will also do fertility so I think that’s why there’s a difference.
I guess I should mention that we’re back in San Diego! I’ve been here for about a month now and I’m liking it ok. I definitely like Denver better. It seems more calm there and not as rushed. We got the house in Denver rented out and that seems to be going ok. I wish we could have gotten more for rent, but atleast we got something! My job is letting me work from home and that’s a life saver. I was so worried about finding a job in time and then we got he idea of me working from home remotely. It’s working out good so far. Sometimes I run out of things to do and sometimes I have a bunch of stuff to do. I’m just used to the fast pace of being there and now I can work at my own pace.
Well I have another doctors appointment tomorrow so I’ll update if I have any follicles growing. I doubt I will this early, but it would be great if I did!
Where do I begin?
David’s staying in the Navy. He wasn’t able to land a job in the time frame we gave ourselves so we decided he would reenlist. He did that on Friday. It is kind of nice just to know our future, but it does suck because he’s going to San Diego in April and we’ll have to deal with the deployments. I’ll stay here until probably June 1st. It’s a bit tricky because we have to get the house ready to be rented out and hopefully someone will want to rent it in that time frame. Yeah we weren’t thinking of the possibility that he wouldn’t be able to find a job when we bought this place 2 years ago.
There are perks to him staying in though. You should have seen the happy dance I did when I found out he will get a bonus. We got screwed last reenlistment and he didn’t get a bonus. And we almost got screwed again with this one. They told him they may reject it because it wasn’t that much time between the paperwork and the reenlistment. But it got approved! Oh my god I was so happy. This makes things so easier for us. Without that bonus I don’t know how long it would be before I would be able to move too, we depend too much on my income.
So now I can start planning life again. I am a big planner you see. I thought I had everything figured out and when he coudln’t find a job I was going crazy not having a plan. I do have to admit the current plan is a much better financial plan, thanks bonus!
So that’s all for now. I’m kind of thinking about switching to blogger or something because I’m tired of paying for a site that I rarely use even if it dirt cheap. I’ll let ya know if I switch though, haha if anyone still reads this.
I haven’t updated in forever, again.
Nothing new is really happening. We’re still going through this fertility crap, which I’m getting very tired of. I’m giving myself the injections. This is my third round. The first one got canceled after over 2 weeks and the first got canceled after one. I was kind of pissed about the second being canceled. My doctor had told me that she wanted to go slow and the doctor who canceled me wasn’t my doctor, but was the one who was on call. I figured they practiced the same so whatever. Well the other day when I went in I saw on my chart in red letters to not let the other doctor make decisions about my dosing. I’m kind of glad they noticed without me having to say anything, but it also pisses me off that I wasted that month of medication. Bitches.
Other than that bullshit life is ok. I think with all of this stuff my hormones are out of whack. I fall into a slump sometimes wanting a new life and then wake up the next day perfectly fine with where I am. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me there! Hormones would be my favorite explanation! A vacation from life would be nice, but I don’t see that happening any time soon.
I am going back home for Thanksgiving, that’s something to look forward to. I don’t think I’ve been since January.. Damn having a job! I remember in San Diego I went home all the damn time. Just a 4.5 hour car ride and I’m there!
There are also more stressors in life that I’ll get to later. I’ll leave you with these few for now. 
So it’s about time I updated right? A lot has been going on, but not at the same time. I tried another fertility drug, femara, that did not work. Right now I’m on the injections which so far we haven’t really seen anything going on. I’ve only been doing the injections for almost a week and she’s starting me slow so I’m not too discouraged yet. The only thing that sucks is I have to go in for ultrasounds and bloodwork about 2 times a week. I’m lucky to have people at work not giving me shit for leaving work, but we’ll see how long that lasts.
Work has been stressing me out lately. I’m just over working I think. David needs to get a good job so I don’t have to! I find myself bringing home work in my head. I worry about things that I totally shouldn’t. There’s also sometimes drama that drives me crazy. People just need to relax! I’m not going to go into detail because, well it’s work.
Other than work and trying to make my ovaries grow eggs there’s not much else going on. My mom and sister did come to visit last weekend for my birthday. That was fun. I wish we lived closer because I’m getting tired of missing out on everything in my family. I can’t go to the birthdays and get togethers. It just sucks. Hopefully someday we’ll be able to move back out there. Oh hell, maybe they should move out here!
Time to go, I’ll keep updating about the injections. I promise
I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me!! All this week I’ve had a hard time falling asleep. It’s like my mind just won’t relax.
I’m trying to write some things down here tonight to see if it helps. I’ve been lying in bed for atleast 45 minutes now with no luck. I swear i jinxed it a couple weeks ago thinking about how I haven’t had that hard of time lately.
It could be stress too. I’ve been stressing lately about life after the military and what if we decide he should re-enlist. Those bonuses sure to make it tempting. Right now we’re preparing for him to get out. His out day is Feb 2nd i believe, which will be here before we know it! He still needs to work on his resume and starting putting it out for government jobs. He was told by a few people to start really early with those jobs because sometimes you don’t hear from them in about 6 months. I’d like him to do a contractor job because they make more money in the long run and that’s what we need now! Speaking of money another stresser in my life! We’re stretched pretty thin right now. We do have plenty in savings, but i like to pretend that it’s not there so it can stay savings. I’ve been taking a class so maybe I can earn some extra money in a few months when I’m done with that. I’d eventually like to be able to stay home and take care of some kiddos, but that’s not happening right now!
I’m also bring work home more than I used to. Not in the sense of actual work, but thinking about it and stressing about it while I’m at home. I used to be able to just leave it there. I don’t know what’s happening with my brain! Wouldn’t be nice if you could just have an on off switch during the night?
Well, I think I’ll give it another try. Writing has kind of helped as I can feel my eyes getting heavy. Or it could be the benadryl that I took! See ya soon!
So, things aren’t going that well. I’ve done two rounds of clomid and nada has happened. My doctor is now referring me to a reproductive endocrinologist. It just kind of sucks because it’s sinking in more that I may not be able to have kids. I kind of researched adoption a bit the other night. Mostly google type of stuff seeing about cost and what not. We’ll see though. I could respond well to whatever this other doctor will want to do. My poor little ovaries can’t handle making eggs I guess. It sucks too because this other doctor can’t get me in until June 3rd. I think June sounds further away than it really is. It’s just one month so it should be ok. The kind of sad part is I was hoping to get knocked up in enough time that when I have the baby we would still have Tricare as our insurance so we’d have very little out of pocket. With the insurance I can get through work I have a $500 copay and then 20% of all charges from the hospital. Those can add up!! It’ll be ok though.
I’m also stressing about David finding a job. I can pretty much say he’s one of the laziest people on the planet. He still hasn’t done a resume and he was told by a lot of people that he should start sending it out for government jobs now. But he’s a lazy mother fucker and can’t get his shit together. It’s amazing he’s survived this far in life. His out date is February 2009, but he can go on terminal leave in December. That would be nice because if he can get a job starting then he’ll be making two salaries for a couple months. I just want him to get his shit together. We’ve had talks where I tell him how important it is and that it’s just not him he has to worry about, it’s me and a possible child. He acts like he’ll do it, but never does. I swear writing about it is pissing me off even more!
I don’t think there’s much more other news. Work is going well, so that’s good. I’m so glad I like my job. If I worked with any other people I would hate it. The people who come in are amazing in the fact that they feel like they’re God’s gift and the world revolves around them. You’d be surprised the kind of shit we hear and have to deal with. Oh geez, and if you could hear the voice mails!
Well, I’m off to be lazy and watch TV!
